A Trial Revisited

Before I continue the story of John and what he goes through after becoming a biblically led Christian, there is a need to share a recent trial in John’s life.

The beginning of John’s trial started the day before Halloween. It was Sunday night and John was visiting his friend in a care facility. I allowed the Enemy to sift John, knowing I would strengthen and use this for good in his life and the lives of others. This trial had similarities to John’s initial struggle 26 years earlier. This trial came unwarned, but I was building a faith foundation in John’s life. This foundation was tested greatly. John was facing his worst trial of the past eight years. It was the worst since the use of his best medicine.

John had finished playing cards with friends in one the facilities visitation room. John was in the restroom, when he experienced an intense attack. It was similar to an attack John had felt at his onset. Without warning John started feeling his life to go out of him. He thought that he would die in the bathroom. John fought to leave the room. He thought if he could make it back to the room with his friends, he would be okay.

This was the beginning of a trial that would take all the strength I could give John to be able to overcome. The trial had multi-facet to test him. The trial would last up until Christmas.

The enemy pointed out to John where he fell short. John was working through an unloving and judging of other Christians over issues that were not meant to divide. John judged himself in various areas; the enemy lost the ability to condemn. My Father and I were watching the struggle, knowing that this would increase John’s love and acceptance of other Christians. John’s judgments were thinking in Pharisee like way.

John’s great answer to these judgments was something we can all use.

“I may not understand,

But I’m not called to understand,

But I am called to love.”

Truly this is My answer, too.

John’s dying feelings were so intense that he had to go to sleep quoting scripture to face the fears. My answer, besides dealing with John’s judgments, was for him to rest in Me. Truly it was by facing the shadow of death that John was able to go on.

John was visiting his parents when the fears needed to be faced. John’s gave up fighting to stay alive. He sat down and prepared to see what would happen next. John exercised his faith by knowing that if he felt I would catch him. As he rested in Me the shadow passed over him. John needed this in counseling his father a few weeks later.

The battle was starting to be over, but the end came in a fuller way as John accepted his death to self. John learned to bring his flesh (spiritual sinful nature) to the Cross. John could trust Me with his heart apart from experiencing bad intense feelings. John had truly learned one of my most powerful truths.

“He was being crucified with Me,

And yet he lives, but not he,

But I can live through him.”

His soul and Spirit would be free to say no to the flesh in a stronger way.